Divorce Lawyer: The 5 Stages Of Grief, Part One

As a divorce lawyer, I have seen divorce’s five stages of grief first-hand, which is why I am here to support you during one of the most difficult times of your life.  The stages of grief couples experience are the same as in death.  Your marriage has died and the emotions you experience throughout the divorce process are natural and healthy.  I want to highlight the five stages of grief to help support you through this process.  In today’s blog, I will touch on the first two: denial and anger.

 

Denial is a response that numbs pain, but also acts as a refusal to acknowledge the loss of a relationship and approaching divorce.  Denial can often be seen as a negative action; however, your divorce lawyer wants you to know that denial actually benefits you if experienced in a healthy way, as it allows time to process through the initial emotions such as shock and emotional pain from the breakup.  

 

When choosing to stay in denial too long, it can lead to depression, emotional turmoil, and an inability to make important decisions regarding your family’s future.  Many choose to stay in denial to avoid pain, however, it is in the acknowledgement and feeling of pain which pushes you through the healing process.  Experiencing denial in a healthy way brings a mature understanding of an impending divorce, and the ability to face the changing relationships between you, your spouse, and your children.  

 

The second stage of the grieving process moves away from denial and into anger.  Anger deflects other emotions such as hurt, fear and further pain associated with a lost relationship.  It is good to know that anger is a normal reaction to the loss you are experiencing, however, anger should never turn into angry behavior towards a spouse or children.  Angry behavior risks damaging the relationships between your family members and emphasizes unnecessary conflict over the ability to make important decisions about the future.  As a divorce lawyer, I have seen clients who are left bitter and resentful when their uncontrollable anger and self-destructive ways are left unresolved.  But when faced in a healthy manner, anger can serve as a way to help you make the difficult choice of an emotional break from your spouse.

 

Grieving a divorce takes time, and there is no one way approach to healing.  Because your family shapes your life like no other relationship, the health, well being and success of you and your family is of utmost importance.  I believe by understanding the five stages of grief, you can begin to heal through this difficult time and be able to make important, lasting decisions regarding your family’s future.  For nearly 30 years I have served the Overland Park and Johnson County, Kansas communities in family law and am here to support you.  Please contact me today and ask for divorce lawyer, Elizabeth Hill, to schedule a consultation, or call at (913) 381-1500 with any questions you have surrounding grief and your divorce.